My weekend started with a challenge to respond to a good offer from my current company in an attempt to keep me. It happened on Thursday, something that I did not see coming. Thus practically, ever since that meeting, my mind was bothered to take everything into consideration. A big decision. Probably one of the biggest in my life. It’s challenging me in the extent of what my initial purpose was and what I was looking for.
It’s highly tempting considering I had questioned and assumed about where to go in this position. Until I was at the point when I know I have to turn myself to the direction that I always want to be in. My questions were answered lately, I would have gotten a promotion If I would stay. No matter how I was so sure about moving to TOMS, certainly as a human being, I was a little jolted. A battle within.I asked my managers to give me sometimes to think and take everything into consideration. I do not want to regret anything in my life, I want to make my own choice consciously and with no time constrain as a pressure. I promised them to return on Monday with a fix answer.I was super flattered and happy because the offer shows how they appreciate my work performance and what I have done for the team and the company. I can’t stop appreciating it!
It was uneasy. I made pros and cons, I talked to a couple of people whom I trust, my family, Damar, and my best friends. I am really grateful that I have such loving and supportive surroundings. They help me clearing out my thinking process. They know me well enough to give wise advise.
It’s a total battle between heart and brain. My brain thinks about the title I’d have and how much money I would earn. In theory, this battle should be easy, but it is not. I still needed the time to understand what I really wanted. In the decision making, I was learning not to take money as the first priority, if possible even not taking it at all. That is what I did. If I had stayed, I would have faced the same issue again, same people, same environment again. I would have burned the bridges to TOMS forever, I would have wasted my 1 year to wonder how it was to work for TOMS which at the end would never happen. I signed the contract and that’s the accountability I needed to take. A commitment. I needed to go back to the initial objective of me dreaming to work for TOMS in the first place. It’s because their business model and their visions. I am excited working for TOMS more than staying. A colleague of mine gave a good advise that I will remember ‘You have to think for how you want to see myself in 3 or 5 years and not only for tomorrow or a month from now’.
I used the whole weekend to think about it and justify myself. In the meantime, I unlocked my running challenge. I fulfilled my promise of this month, run for 10 K at least. I was proud of myself considering running is not my preference sport. But if everybody else can do it, I can also do it. And I proved that theory. I signed the whole family up! It was super nice to know the people you love are around you and having the same goal as you. Getting to the finish line of 10K together.
So I took the decision. I had to turn my current company down and I continue with TOMS. Once again, I fulfilled my resolution of the year and commitment that I made.
It’s finally official.
Yesterday I filed my letter of resignation to my current work (TH). I have been quite and rather keep it secrets about the whole situations.
All started with thinking, making dreams and questioning in which direction I want to go, turning a dream into a plan, a plan to reality.
12 months ago, I know I will work for the company not too long, then continue another year elsewhere for the sake of experience.
6-8 months ago, I know I want to do something that matters, something more valuable and meaningful for me, but I don’t know what, where, when and how
5-6 months ago, I have got more ideas about what to do in life. I want to create a business that is sustainable in terms of helping other people. Not only meaningful for me, but also rewarding because it’s meaningful for other people who receive the helps they need too. Certainly, came after that, I set a goal to work somewhere else that has the same vision and mission as how I determine what is importance in a corporate. Or rather, not a corporation, but also an organization. So that I can learn about passions and to be part of the growth or developing processes until they get to a peak point. I don’t how, where and what. But I know when.
4 months ago, I talked to a colleague of mine about my plan and she immediately remembered about one company that has the exact same ideas with what I have. The company is called TOMS. They sell shoes (and a lot of other things as well), and their business model is ONE FOR ONE. You purchase one, and someone in the other side will be given the shoes to go to school. That’s perfect for, same goal, and has the same background as me (in fashion area, more or less, although that’s obviously not what they aim for). Thereafter, I looked it up on the internet and I told myself that day ‘I HAVE TO WORK FOR THIS COMPANY’. It’s definitely a process, because then I didn’t only know the when but I also found what and where. But still, I don’t know how…..
3 months ago, I live my life just like as if I will work for the company in the ‘when’ that I have chosen. end of this year or beginning of next year. I bought the shoes (well technically, I gave a hint to my best friends to give me these pair as my bday gift) 😛 I learnt about the company on youtube, I read a lot of articles about what have they done, I watched the interview of the founder, Blake Mycooskie, really bright inspirational man by the way, I bought the book also ‘Something that matter’ that was written by Blake himself to encourage people doing something similar like TOMS, I placed TOMS sticker on the mirror in my bedroom. I believe in the law of attraction.
I checked on their vacancy, there was only 1 job available. Something that qualifies the candidates to work 3-5 years in the field. Not me at all. So I refused to apply. After implementing the law of attraction in my life, I began thinking ‘it’s no harmful to try applying’. So I did. For a month…. Heard nothing. And I surrender….
Until one day, my phone was ringing during the quite working hours. I decided not to pick up, but then I received voicemail not so long after. Guess what? TOMS invited me for an interview !!!! That really made my day. Never did I thought I would make it to that point.
I went for the interview… then I went for a holiday right after words, so that again, I was not setting any expectations to get the job. Again, I surrender…. 1,5 months ago, I received another voicemail from them inviting me for the 2nd interview. Never did I thought, I would be called for the first interview, let alone the second. So I went there, feeling happy to have this experience. My heart whispered to get the job, but I tried to surrender. Just being myself and being honest. The job is not important, anything can be learnt. But the organization you work and stand for are important, because that defines what value you have. This was when I think I knew how.. to be honest and be myself during the interview, showing my genuine interest to contribute to the company.
And yes, that’s it. I got the job 🙂 Too many ‘coincidence’ happened during the process. For instance, the supply chain director happened to work at Mexx and Tommy Hilfiger in the past, same path as me. They have a yoga class on Wednesday, which I love. They have a shoe drop program which will allow to have a trip in the 3rd world country, which I really want. Things just fall to the right places and I am very grateful about it. Coincidence and lucks only occur to the chosen people, people who strive, have a strong belief on their self and work hard
Small handwriting postcard can touch a heart. Really personal 🙂
Resignation has not been easy especially I am at the point where I very much comfortable with what I am doing as well as the team. But I also find it dangerous, because I need to keep on challenging myself and I need to develop myself. And comfort at this age will not get me there…..
Jack Ma once said that it’s important to work in a big company and has a good manager, thereafter you shall work in a smaller company to learn and be part of the process in getting it bigger. Then, you’re ready to make your own company because you see things from different dimensions. And I am on my way there… Proudly and graciously.
Salary and position at the end does not matter so much. TH tried to keep me and they actually had something planned for my future as well. As tempting as it sounds, I still prefer to move to TOMS even though it means that i will not be secure anymore by the fact that I have to start over again with contract whilst in TH I am already with indefinite. It’s quite challenging, but I feel good about myself 🙂 I can’t wait.
If everything is meant to be it will be, but not when you don’t make plan, don’t realize that setting goals is essentials, and certainly not when you do not walk your life conciously because then you’ll never be ready with any opportunity opens in front of you.
‘There is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to receive it. No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief, not mere hope or wish, openminded-ness is essential in creating a belief.’
Once again, I got another opportunity to go somewhere with basically no significant efforts but had a huge impact in my life.
It’s an offer from my sister and family because they had one free seat in the car. I was a little reluctant in the beginning, but then I thought this was the biggest book fair in the world with more than 100 countries participated, and 7000 exhibitors. Especially, by the fact that Indonesia was being the guest of honor this time which (normally) will not come twice. Indonesia had to wait for 5 years to get to this position. I guess, this was meant to be for me to attend as well. I just needed to tag along in the car, and spend some bucks for the extra bed as well as some food and entrance ticket. What else could I ask for?
Frankfurt Book Fair:the world’s largest event of the publishing industry. The Frankfurt Book Fair has a tradition that spans over more than 500 years. Soon after Johannes Gutenberg had developed printing in movable letters in Mainz near Frankfurt, the first book fair was held by local booksellers. Until the end of the 17th century, it was the most important book fair in Europe. As a consequence of political and cultural developments, it was eclipsed by the Leipzig Book Fair during the Enlightenment. After World War II, the first book fair was held again in 1949 at the St. Paul’s Church. Since then, it has regained its pre-eminent position.
It turned to be a real amazing personal experience, because to be Indonesian and to be able to witness how Westerns adore the country you were born in, is definitely priceless. The sense of the pride was certainly coming in this kind of moment, in which I knew I had to cherish. All of the details of Indonesian Pavilion was done properly (huge space Indonesia got as a guest of honor), or I must say whole heartedly. Everything about it was simply marvelous, from the art installations until the performances. Not only that, but also the invited authors and contributors. They were all well-picked, all legends and again I emphasize I was super lucky to be able to meet them and admire them from close distance. Especially for the authors whom the book I read and had a relation with.
In the first day, I was strolling around and checking out some books when an architecture book was captivating me. I saw the author data, and the name was Imelda Akmal. The name was somewhat familiar, but I had never really encountered on what has she done until I opened the book and liking the concept she made in compiling the information from different architectures. The point is one, to optimize small spaces. Usually, I think thoroughly whether to purchase something. But after opening her pile of books in a section, my eyes captured one book called “Houses by Indonesian Architects”. The houses style inside the book is exactly how I visualize my future dream house. So I bought it. I just didn’t want to not buy and regret after..
In the cashier, the woman said that the writers are somewhere around. I was looking for her to ask for photographs and autographs. She turned to be one of the influential people in architecture industry who focus in optimizing minimum space (minimalist – which fyi, I very much like the concept). She gave me a business card and we took pictures together. I would definitely remember this time because this book would be an inspiration source of how my future house will look like.
Beside that, I also met Dewi Lestari whom the book I read and love! It’s nice to see her in person and listen to her excerpt of “Partikel”. Such an amazing and inspiring women. Being in the same room with them, with Slamet Rahardjo, Fauzi Bowo, etc give a different synergy to surroundings. Glad to experience it. I came back knowing name of authors I have never known before, and a philosophy I’ve never encountered before.
No regret at all! Caution: It’s a huge place and event, 2 days were simply not enough. Not enough to stroll around Indonesian part itself.
I returned from Andalusia today with a big smile in my face, looking back to the experiences I had been through. I am still overwhelmed by all the Muslim history that actually was forcedly demolished and not so many people learnt. As Yasin put it ‘if you imagine europe continent as whole, andalusia was the only light can be seen, other countries were in the darkness” I am glad that I am once again able to scratch what has been on my list for so long, visit Andalusia. This time is even more special because I could bring along my parents, plus my sister number 2. Little did I know back then that I could be able to trail Muslim history in Andalusia with my family member although for so long I have been dreaming to take my parents around, but I would not think it would be in this Pilgrim trip. Pilgrim because it is a journey to a holy place, where a lot of Islam milestone history written. For once they were so much ahead and ruled the world, through Europe. Yes.. Europe. Not so many are aware because Islam is merely associated with Middle East or Arab country. I am lucky that my dad is a very curious man with many knowledge who seems to know everything and try to find answers to his questions especially concerning our religion. I first acknowledges about the story of Andalusia from him. It makes me want to go to Andalusia so badly. I want to witness with my own eyes, the magical leftovers building from the glory of Islam more than 7 centuries ago. Gratefully, my parents are able to come a long. I am very happy to experience this together with them.
I booked the ticket months before the departure days. I managed to buy the ticket from Easy Jet for 150eur/ person, which is considered as a normal rate. We decided to stay in Andalusia for a week. A week is perfect because there are a lot of things we wanted to see and we would move from on city to another. Yet, a week is enough to make my parents not to have to jump here and there too much. I wanted them to still be able to enjoy the visit without being rushed with time constrains. After ticket booking, I tried to build the itinerary myself until I got recommended a halal tourist agency. This halal tourist called Eren tour, it is guided by a local who is fellow Muslim and what makes it special is that he studies the history of Islam in Andalusia area. They guy is named Yasin. The money we payed were worthwhile, since visiting alone without clear story in mind and with someone who could explain every little details on what were you looking at, were very much different. Moreover, the accommodation was convenient with Yasin’s car.
Day 1 & Day 2- SEVILLA
We arrived at 9.30 om in Sevilla after 2.55 hours flight went straight to our airbnb. Tips: If you know you would arrive on Saturday night to anticipate some supplies (because a lot of stores closed on Saturday and Sunday). We brought rices and snacks from the Netherlands. The next day on Sunday, we had breakfast and utilize our supplies, because as we assumed, all the stores were closed. We started the day at around 10.00. I was telling myself that no matter what happened, we needed to just enjoy the ride. Because the family time was more important. As a lot of places closed on Sunday, we just walked through the neighborhood and went to the city. The weather was perfect, 23 degrees, we went along the street with the help of the map then we continued with Sightseeing Bus. It was my first time going with hop on hop off bus, pretty remarkable 😀
Day 3 – SEVILLA- CORDOBA
This is long awaited day. We would officially start the Muslim trail journey with Yasin, the man of Eren Tour. Yasin picked us up in the big square nearby our place called Plaza del Salvador. First thing Yasin asked was if we already did went to Alcazar and Plaza de Spana. We were looking at each other, and said ‘we think so, but we did not stop‘. He said hysterically, “No, you have to go inside to have more insights“. Thus we ended up going there first before we drove to Cordoba. They said, Alcazar is the Chinese version of Alhambra. That is pretty funny. It indeed looks exactly like Alhambra, only much smaller. So many arabic carving on the walls, that I am proud of. I am amazed by the famous beauty of Andalusia in which actually created and built by muslim in the 7th century.
In the afternoon, I started feeling sick and weak since the morning, and got worse in the evening. Could not really enjoy the journey anymore, although I was still excited but my body turned exhausted really quickly. At night I decided to just be dropped home and stayed to get some rests hoping the next day I could start fresh.
Alcazar – royal palace in Seville, Spain, originally developed by MoorishMuslimkings. The palace is renowned as one of the most beautiful in Spain, being regarded as one of the most outstanding examples of mudéjar architecture found on the Iberian Peninsula.[1] The upper levels of the Alcázar are still used by the royal family as the official Seville residence and are administered by the Patrimonio Nacional. It is the oldest royal palace still in use in Europe, and was registered in 1987 by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site ( source: Wikipedia)
We continued driving to Cordoba and went inside the Cordoba mosque
Mosque/ Cathedral of Cordoba –
It originally was a Catholicchurch built by the Visigoths.When Muslims conquered Spain in 711, the church was first divided into Muslim and Christian halves. This sharing arrangement of the site lasted until 784, when the Christian half was purchased by the Emir ‘Abd al-Rahman I, who then proceeded to demolish the entire structure and build the grand mosque of Cordoba on its ground.After the Reconquista, it was converted to a Roman Catholic church, culminating in the insertion of a Renaissance cathedral nave in the 16th century.
Since the early 2000s, Spanish Muslims have lobbied the Roman Catholic Church to allow them to pray in the cathedral. This Muslim campaign has been rejected on multiple occasions, both by the church authorities in Spain and by the Vatican. (source: wikipedia)
Cordoba – Hamam
Where we had lunch in Cordoba, Yasin took us to the 1st halal restaurant in the neighborhood after islam was demolished.
Day 4 – Medinat Azzahra – Granada (Albayzin Village)
I woke up feeling much better after being sick for the past days. I think my body tumbled waiting for the right timing (read: when my parents and my sister around, so that they can take care of me) *winkwink* After all, I am the baby in the family. We left the memories in Cordoba and moved on to Madina Azzahra before going to Granada.
We arrived in Granada in the afternoon and went straight to the airbnb. Our stay this time was pretty remarkable and authentic, the owner said the place was built 300 years ago. It’s petite and looks super old indeed, my sister and I got a bit of bed bug bites LOL, fortunately she got her allergic paste so the feeling could have been worse.
By far, this is my favorite city, it’s like no others. It’s located in the mountain area, hence it’s hilly. The road is made of stones, the street is super small so it requires somebody’s expertise to drive there. And coincidentally, Granada is where Yasin lives, so he’s trained for it really well.
Unlike all of us, my mom had some difficulties climbing up, but all paid off every time she saw some places to shop. There was this Maroccon bazar alley that got her all excited. After arriving, we took a rest for couple of hours and then went out to the city center and caught some sunsets from Albayzin ( the village where we stay ) to look over Alhambra with its redness with the spot light from the sunset.
Day 5 – Granada (Alhambra)
Yasin arranged a guide in Alhambra because it was not allowed to bring guide from outside. Our guide named Tariq, he’s as old as my dad. I can see a fatherly figure on him. He explained the story properly. Alhambra is a royal house (not palace), total is 7km and without even realizing it, my mom made it from the beginning till the end. The power of mind and not knowing!
Alhambra (/ælˈhæmbrə/; Spanish: [aˈlambɾa]; Arabic: الْحَمْرَاء, [ʔælħæmˈɾˠɑːʔ], Al-Ḥamrā’, lit. “the red one”),[a] the complete form of which was Calat Alhamra,[b] is a palace and fortress complex located in Granada, Andalusia, Spain. It was originally constructed as a small fortress in 889 and then largely ignored until its ruins were renovated and rebuilt in the mid-11th century by the Moorish emir Mohammed ben Al-Ahmar of the Emirate of Granada, who built its current palace and walls. It was converted into a royal palace in 1333 by Yusuf I, Sultan of Granada.[1]
Alhambra’s Islamic palaces, as we know them today, were built for the last Muslim emirs in Spain and the court of the Nasrid dynasty. The decoration consists, as a rule, of Arabic inscriptions that are manipulated into geometrical patterns wrought into arabesques. Painted tiles are largely used as panelling for the walls.[4] The palace complex is designed in the Mudéjar style, which is characteristic of western elements reinterpreted into Islamic forms and widely popular during the Reconquista, the reconquest of the Iberian Peninsula from the Muslims by the Christian kingdoms.
Another highlight of that day, WE FINALLY FOUND FLAMENCO PERFORMANCE anddd for free!!! I trusted on my guts!
Day 6 – Orgiva – Alpujjara Mountain – Slobrenia – Malaga
Sacrifice day! We were lucky we could celebrate it here, in a total different environment. Yasin kindly promised to bring us to pray and celebrate eid in his village. I was so excited to see another culture of sacrificing day as well as to meet new people. I did not really know what to expect, yet turned out it was a small remote village. The people were super warm and welcoming. My dad and I used to watch a Canadian Serie called ‘The little mosque in the prairie‘ and it’s a total reality life in front of me. Everybody knows everybody. I met a woman, which apparently a SWEDISH. I was a little surprised wondering what she was doing in that small village. It is not a place that random people would prefer to stop and stay. We had a little conversation, this woman moved there because she achieves peace, she feels the love around her, so she wants to have another form of life surrounded by those local people. I saluted her, it is a brave decision.
After praying, we went to another village that looks like Greece with the white houses. A village that’s never been changed since first was built hundred years ago. Furthermore continue to eat fish in the beach side of the mountain. It’s another city called Slobrenia, not so many people go here except locals. So it was peacefully quite during our visit.
At 4pm, Yasin dropped us off in Malaga, our last stop in this trip. It’s sad that it comes the time to say goodbye to him. Not only that we will miss his smiles and stories, but also his capability of Spanish since no one speaks english properly in South of Spain hehe.
After arriving, we just went to the beach in the evening, had home-cooked meal for dinner, and took a good rest for the next day.
Day 7 – Malaga – Alcazaba and beach day
Malaga is a port city, very modern and surrounded by oceans. However, it still has some leftovers from the old Moorish times like some follows.
Day 8 – Sevilla airport
Total journey was a rip off to my pocket, but it is all worth it! Time to say see you later to this beautiful lowland with its histories. ¡Hasta luego!
Mimpi adalah janji… Janji kepada diri kita sendiri. Mimpi membuat kita tahu kemana arah diri, kemana kami harus pergi menjejaki….
Belakangan ini saya lagi semangat-semangatnya menuliskan target saya dalam 4 tahun ke depan. Mimpi itu berkaitan erat sekali dengan target. Karena target bisa terbentuk karena mimpi.
Mimpi saya adalah menjadi berkat untuk sesama manusia, membuat orang tua saya bahagia, yang tentunya akan membuat diri saya sendiri bahagia. Saya bersyukur sekali mempunyai partner yang selalu support di segala hal yang saya pilih, karena itu juga akan menentukan seberapa cepat daya bergerak dan menentukan arah ke depan.
Saya bermimpi untuk difeature di sebuah magazine sebelum saya berumur 30 untuk meliput kesuksesan bisnis saya atau kegiatan saya sebagai filantropi aamiin yarobbal alamiin. Target saya adalah membuat bisnis sebelum saya kembali ke Indonesia, sehingga saat saya kembali kesana for good, saya sudah memiliki bayi yang hanya perlu dibesarkan. Beberapa bulan yang lalu saya research dan melihat peluang-peluang yang terbuka di Indonesia untuk dijadikan bisnis, ternyata sudah banyak sekali area-area bisnis yang succesfully covered. Perkembangan UKM di Indonesia memang sangat pesat 5 tahun belakangan ini, rasanya mudah menyetir kebutuhan di Indonesia karena gaya hidup penduduknya yang konsumtif. Saat saya sedang berpikir keras menggunakan logika untuk memutuskan bisnis apa yang saya ingin geluti, saya kembali menggunakan intuisi dan afirmasi saya. Ternyata, untuk personality saya dan mimpi saya, saya ingin mengkreasikan sesuatu yang sifatnya personal untuk orang lain, karena saya sendiri suka dengan sesuatu yang disentuh dan dibuat secara personal. I want to give value to someone’s life personally.
Selain itu saya pun harus kembali berpikir mengnai hobby dan passion saya untuk meformulasikan keinginan saya. I am pretty self-concious, and I know I have to form my ambition into words so I understand myself what i really want. I was trying to listen deeply to my self because to distinct what I think I want and what I really want is incredibly tricky.
Background saya adalah fashion dan saya memiliki beberapa tahun pengalam di fashion industry. Tapi menurut saya, just fashion dan mengikuti trend adalah sesuatu yg terlalu supericial.
Lalu saya teringat bagaimana cintanya saya terhadap jewelry, betapa saya sangat excited akhirnya bisas meng-order cincin idaman saya dari MINNONMADE. I always have something for jewelry and it always means something to me, especially when it’s delivered personally. Karena at the end of the day, what matters the most is the fact that it touches someone’s heart. I want to have that message…
Akhirnya saya pun membentuk 1st moodboard and it got me all excited. Saya ingin mengambil kelas jewelry di Bali… Mengerti ilmu di bidang tersebut. Mudah-mudahan bisa terealisasi tahun ini. Dan mudah-mudahan busa tercapai dengan baik.
Saya bermimpi untuk bisa kembali ke indonesia dan menjalankan bisnis saya. Saya berjanji pada diri sendiri untuk keluar dari pekerjaan saya sekarang di Spring 2017, dan menggunakan cuti-cuti akhir saya untuk Euro Trip dengan sahabat saya, Bendot. Dan saya akan kembali ke Indonesia bersama dengan dia… Saya akan mulai sekolah master saya dengan major psikologi either di Indonesia UI atau di Australia. Yang artinya saya harus menyiapkan persyaratan-persyaratan untuk sekolah dan beasiwa mulai tahun depan. Life issss sooo shorttt, it’ll get there before I know it. That’s why i have to schedule it properly and that’s what I want to do. Dan semoga bisa settle down with my partner and living in my dream house with big windows (even this, I know exactly what I want)
Saya berharap semua ini adalah awal dari saya membuat perubahan dan bisa membantu sesama…. Bismillah hirrohmanirrohim….
I will always remember this day. The day I met my love for the first time after 2 years being apart. My holiday and everything occured before this meant nothing anymore compared to the excitement if seeing him.
22 Desember pukul 11.30 pagi tiba di Schiphol Amsterdam Airport dianter mbak Vicka, Dina dan Qila. Hari-hari sebelumnya entah kenapa, perasaan ragu dan cemas menyerang. Bukan, bukan karena soon ketemu Bendot (yang itu juga, tapi sudah berlalu heheh). Tapi karena takut pesawatnya kenapa-kenapa, takut nggak kembali ke darat lagi.. Lagi sering mikir aneh akhir-akhir itu tentang kematian. Masih belum siap… Anyway sedih juga ninggalin mbak Vicka sama anak-anak kecil itu sendiri, but I have to, to see my beloved ones.
Setelah menempuh perjalanan panjang termasuk transit di Dubai, 18 jam in total, akhirnya sampai juga di Soekarno Hatta.. Lega! Begitu sampai bandara, udah nggak sempat deg-degan karena harus antre imigrasi dll. Setelah sukses ngelewatin meja imigrasi dan muka petugas yang sama sekali ngga ada ramah-ramahnya, saya baru mulai agak deg-degan tapi berusaha menutupi dengam menyibukkan diri, ambil trolley, ambil bagasi, tunggu bagasi, ke toilet, dll. Terima i-message dari bendot, dia bilang sudah sampai, ditunggu di terminal kedatangan. Oh no! And then telling myself, bring it on! I am so ready to see you….. (Padahal keringet dingin!)
And there he is.. Came saying “hi”….. This is surreal……… Too unreal to digest. He hugged me for a little bit. Not sure if it’s a dream or reality… After all, he’s a form of 3 dimensions hahahah It’s just very hard to believe that he’s just there next to me looking at me with his bare eyes (with glasses ding 😛). I watched him sliding away my trolley as he goes, it’s just so strange……. I forgot about love I’ve been feeling for 2 years. I was just busy swallowing reality that we were in no distance, for onc, finally.
We went on a plane together, side-by-side, for the first time. Then, it started to feel right.. He’s one patience person. Whilst I might be a little too mean for him, since I don’t really have patience. But believe me honey, I am trying 🙂
After flying for 60mins, we touched down Juanda where I met his father for the first time. Awkwardddddddd tapi berusaha menutupinya dengan kecerewatanku yang sedikit banyak memang mempesona itu haha sok akrab ceritanya.
Every single day I spent my time with him was well-spent, finally met each other’s family. I felt very content. I havent felt as much of a home as that time, really. All my anxiety and fear of dissapointment formed by assumptions in long distance relationship are gone.. Not instantly ofcourse, but after everything got digested better, I understand better, then I realize he’s the one I’ve been looking for.. He’s the one I thought who he was. When he started speaking his fun trivia, I just shutted, listened carefully and paid attention to his glowing face sparkling eyes when talking his things. Sometimes or many times, I was drown in my own thoughts while looking at his happy face. There! There is my happiness.. My home, it felt just right… It just is. No reasons, unexplainable. Cheesy, I know !
Ok go to my journey in Indonesia, day went by, and time for Derawan Island – Borneo. I have been dreaming to be in a paradise like this. This is the holiday I have been thinking about, relaxing, engaging with locals, eating food that was naturally caught by the indigenous, plus all in all, I got to snorkel to explore underwater life. I was lucky enough to find Manta Ray on the way, it’s humongous, it tickled me a little bit, I mean in a fear way. But I was proud of myself that I did it! It was the first time for me, thus there are a little feeling of the biggest fear in the planet. Fear of the unknown. I swam along with a very beautiful no-harm-sting jellyfish, the color is pink, it’s a huge experience. This only exist in 2-3 places in the world, as far as I know is in Palau, Thailand and Kakaban, Indonesia. I consider myself pretty lucky.
Getting into this island, I felt timeless, I lost time. Even the New Year was approaching, the feeling was different than in a big city where I come from. No crowds, no traffic jam, only bunch of modest people who were trying to enjoy the year turning by holding karaoke event and releasing the lanterns. BEAUTIFUL. But then I went back to my room.. nothing special. What was so special is that I noticed that I had scratched down more things from my resolutions list of 2014 all at once which I am forever grateful. They are: – Travelling to Indonesia – Snorkel – Went to Kalimantan (it was Sulawesi on my initial resolutions, but hey why does it matter?) – New Year’s eve with beloved – Make a single cover with Bendot – Visiting my love in Bandung – Not coming back to Indonesia for good! They extended my contract – Get to meet each other parents – Take my parents on a short holiday
Ah nothing I can be more grateful for really.. “Grateful forms happiness from within – MS”
Continue to the Derawan story….. So everything was smooth until our time to return from Derawan to Tarakan (the bigger island where the airport is). We went on the speed boat when the sun was up, seemed to be a good day although it was raining in the morning. I was a little bit worried, because the cloud looked gloomy on the other side. But who am I to judge.Of course the boat captain is more experienced and has a capacity to judge. So we got off and started our sea journey by little speed boat. I had a bad feeling since the beginning, and it proved by the shut down of the engine because one of the essential part did not work properly. Ok at that time I just hoped that the weather would stay all nice the whole time…….. Anyway the boat could still continue with imperfect part of the engine. So we went on.. Couple of minutes later, all of the sudden, the grey cloud came to our way, rain came down, wave started going wild and our boat could be flipped by any time especially if the boat engine shutted again in the middle. Eye visibility is only in 10 meters radius and there was no one on the ocean, not that could see of. It’s nerve wrecking for everybody on this little boat.. At that very moment, I thought that my life could be taken at any time.. in 5 mins, 10 mins, so on. I felt very small looking at the sea. Everywhere is overlay of moving water. This feeling should have been always in human’s heart, we are nothing…. We are all only visitors in the planet called earth.. We also ran out of gas because the ride was bumpy and rough. The usual speed boat ride time is 2 hours, but it took 6 hours in total. At the end we all (wetly) and gratefully survived. But this near to death experience has opened my eyes wider to be savvy optimizing times I have left in this world, because I realize I will never know when I die. After that, I just cant stop to have the mindset of ‘Carpe diem’ which could be interpreted in any ways, but for me, I will use it for being happy all the time, grateful, and do what He obligates.
Saya sedang giat-giatnya mencapai target saya tahun ini, yaitu get my body in shape. Sebenernya sih specifically lebih pengen bikin perut/abs six pack, plus pengen bisa headstand. Inspirasinya, simply gara-gara saya follow facebook-nya andien – si penyanyi – yang fit banget bentuk badannya. Kita berdua sama-sama punya tipe badan petite, dan ngelihat dia bisa punya bentuk tubuh ideal as in tight and a bit muscular, bikin saya ngerasa termotivasi untuk punya ambisi yang sama. Toh juga banyak keuntungannya selain yang terlihat di permukaan, saya juga bisa kembali ke pola hidup sehat. Karena, percaya atau nggak, tubuh kita akan otomatis menyesuaikan dengan habit baru yang membuat oksigen masuk lebih banyak (dengan latihan pernafasan) dan sensasi organ yang ngerasa bekerja lebih baik, dengan cara lebih selektif memilih makanan demi mempertahankan kesehatan yang sudah on the way.
Meskipun begitu, anggapan orang-orang bahwa atletis atau minimal orang-orang yang doyan olahraga hanya memakan makanan sehat itu SALAH. Sebagai manusia, sekali-sekali nafsu untuk memakan makanan tasty seperti jajanan pinggir jalan, indomie, dan fatty Sumatra food, pasti bergejolak. Dannn, justru orang-orang ini memakannya, dengan perasaan yang lebih aman, kenapa? Karena ibarat kata, olahraga itu bagaikan tabungan yang kita tumpuk, kadang kita perlu memberi reward ke diri sendiri untuk kerja keras yang sudah dikerjakan, beli baju mungkin atau makan enak. Toh kalo beli baju, sisa uangnya masih ada…
Begitu juga dengan olahraga.. Pesennya sih, hidup harus seimbang dan apapaun yang dipilih harus se-seimbang mungkin. Kecuali, kalau memang tubuhnya sudah tidak mau menerima junkfood atau processed food. Karena by experience, saya menemukan orang-orang yang memang tubuhnya langsung merespon negatif makanan-makanan tidak bernutrisi yang masuk. Jangankan sampai dicerna, yang muntah pun ada.
Kurasa sih, ada hubungannya sama mindset. Pada akhirnya, semuanya bersinergi, pola pikir yang sehat akan menghasilkan pola hidup, termasuk makan dan olahraga, yang sehat dan rutin.
And that is my dream!
Ngomong-ngomong, soal abs, 2 hari yang lalu saya sedang berdiskusi dan bercerita tentang mimpi-mimpi saya dengan Wulan. Dia dari dulu banget selalu sounding kalau dia paling gabisa hidup dan one of the biggest annoyance di hidup dia adalah perut yang tidak rata. Padahal, cewe-cewe pasti bakal selalu iri sama dia karena badannya yang kurus bak atlet. Mau serata apalagi perutnya yah? hahah dia pengen punya six pack selalu dan menunjukkan goal dia untuk punya six pack. Dulunya saya hanya iya-iya, tapi desember kemarin saya memasukkan six pack sebagai salah satu resolusi tahun ini :p let’s work on it baby!!
Nah tapi again, good whys lead you to a good way. For me it’s because I love my body and I love my future husband hahaha Sampe akhirnya Wulan sharing alesannya kenapa pengen punya six pack in which really opening my eyes.
Wulan is a vegan. Pada dasarnya core adalah segalanya, yang letaknya di perut kita. Headstand dan handstand juga pake kekuatan perut. Perut juga jadi indicator baik untuk melihat bagaimana orang menyokong dirinya dengan makanan. Karena mustahil punya perut six pack kalo pola makan nggak benar dan sehat.
Anyway, filosofi itu bener banget. Ya kan?
Saya ngerasain banget dari setahun lalu saat saya udah mulai yoga-yoga-an dan olahraga. Begitu makan yang nggak sehat dikit atau ngga olahraga, badan rasanya nggak enak. Tapi biasalah kebiasaan manusia yang suka bikin excuse untuk hal-hal yang butuh effort, kadang kalo saya lagi males, yah udah, perasaan nggak enaknya ngga usah dirasa. Mungkin memang kurang rutin, jadi mudah sekali rasanya untuk menyimpang sedikit..
Sekarang ini saya pengennn banget kembali ke komitmen awal, hidup sehat. Setelah saya olahraga dan start untuk bermindset sedikit berbeda, secara otomatis, saya jadi males makan nasi. Wow !! Tetep makan sih, tapi porsinya sedikitt. Kayanya ini salah satu efek dari kemarin rajin ngeganti puasa Ramadhan deh.. Janji Tuhan emang nggak pernah salah. Efek positifnya merujuk ke pola makan saya yang sekarang lebih grateful dan mindful. Makanpun secukupnya, walaupun ‘secukupnya’ berarti berbeda pada tiap orang.
Huh hah huh hah! Semangat workout deh!
Workout di rumah is more than fine, cukup pake yoga mat, my pink dummbles, and youtube. In the morning sebelum makan is the perfect timing to workout! Abis itu smoothies.. best way to start the day 🙂
Keringetan jadi hal yang asyik hari-hari ini, terutama karena cuaca yang hampir tidak memungkinkan kita untuk berkeringat. Rasanya ekskresi dalam level hampir smpurna saat ngos-ngosan dan keluar sedikit keringat. Capek tapi nikmat!!!
milestone keringetan today: I’m halfway headstand!! yay!!!! nothing beats the feeling. I’ll get there, honeyyyy xxx
My best time on earth is when I am in silence, in solitude, with my very self.
That has become my routine started from a couple of years ago since I started my journey as a (beginner-level) yogi, a meditator (my own terms of people who like to meditate :p), which concludes me as a better-being. I used to have a temper, I used to have a pleasure in torturing my mental (no, not like a psycho) by stressing simple things out.
Since then, I have always been searching for a small times out of my schedule of the day to find back my self to the core.. Like right at this second where my mom is next to me deeply asleep. During the day, it is almost impossible to have a little time with myself due to the high needs of my sister (who just gave birth to her 2nd child) and my mom (who always alwaysss alwayyss busy in the kitchen with her cooks) for my help. For that matter, I choose to have my quality time in the middle of the night when everybody in the house are already gone to bed.
Silence (and music) altogether are my best mood healer.. I personally think, it is a very good way to train myself from getting out of the vicious circle of high level of stress and lack of self-esteem. Why self-esteem, because all thoughts that I (or we) have in mind will be transformed into behavior, behavior becomes habit, habit will be perceived by the beholders, and sometimes (if we don’t love ourselves enough to be able to control the emotion) will tend to create an assumption or definition of ourselves that we are going to take into account, before you know it, it will lead to a different form of stress.
I am proudly say that I am one of those introverts people in this planet. I may not be in the severe condition as some of them are. From my contemplation, I learn that I am the kind of person who isn’t very good at translating what comes in my brain into words, which I am very much grateful that I acknowledge it pretty well as I have a reason to try hard to overcome the weakness. I have a believe that word is very powerful tool to communicate messages and to move people into openness. And for that, I (used to) feel far from content.
I am a perfectionist, which sometimes means that I would put myself in a tough position and blame myself for something that I shouldn’t take. It is the exact reason why sometimes I could be feeling very in-confidence for what I have, why I (used to) always feel far from content. …………………
And you know what, the hardest part (for me) is not a peer-pressure, but self-pressure. The must list I push myself to do… And to accept the weaknesses I have.
By being contemplative, I discover that being perfect (or look perfect) all the time is very much unhealthy. It prevents me to be in the high level of self-consciousness. I’d never understand how it was to have flaws and when someday people discover about the flaws, I’d die form disappointment.
With those things I have… I know where to start improving myself.
From meditation in/not in my prayers, I am no longer a slave of my brain. The negative things used to fill up my mind has already been transformed into the positivity I’d like myself to have. And for sure it does some synergy to the outer of each.. Someone says ‘it’s not the load that break you down, it is the way you carry it’.
I have all the right in the world to choose the way of living, and I choose to be stress-free as stress is only a state of mind.
………………………
Until I finally find the way to understand and get rid of everything worldy and temporal. By being silent enough to listen to what I am thinking, what I want to convey, and what should not. (And also to hear other people).. I slowly get to know what I want genuinely, and what I want impulsively. I have become an expert in priority-organizing.
I am better because I listen..
………………………
As what the youngsters like to say nowadays ‘YOLO’.
Each individual has their way to enjoy their life, because it is indeed ‘YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’. And for me, that particular terminology is a constant reminder to make myself happy, to be confident, and to live my life to the fullest (of course in my own definition).
……………………….
00.15 am
‘Writing and planning your dreams equal halfway in reaching those’ – me
And the contemplation tonight results in a 25bucketlist contains things I SHOULD do rather before 25 years old, than before die.
BIGGEST DREAM: To be able to assist people in reaching their happiness.. bermanfaat bagi sesama. Mudah-mudahan…. Else..
– Acquire diving diploma
– Go to the Middle East (pilgrimage/umroh) and/or Africa
– Riding horse
– Six pack abs!!
– Conquer headstand skill!
– Move to other countries or move back to Indonesia to reunite 🙂 (it should not be after 25, but before 25, however it can’t be before 24 hihi)
– Have a great great great review on the role I currently have the responsibility in
– Participate in Indonesia Mengajar or any other teaching organization
– Own a kindle
– Have a book racks to accommodate all my books that will keep on coming
– Publish my blog? hahahah mmmm
– Invest in meters of area, apartment, or house for future
– Have certain amount of rupiahs in my Indonesian bank account. For social and property investment… Insya Allah
– Go to one/two countries in Asia (maybe Nepal and India?)
– Conquer the ability to play ukulele and bring it to wherever place of my travel destination
1.Be accountable for my own life. If I don’t like something, I have two choices, accept it or change it.
2.Let go of thinking I am not where I should be. I am right where I need to be to get to where I want to go, so start asking I am where I want to go.
3.Let go of self-hate. I am not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who am I matter, and the world needs me as I am. Celebrate me!
4.Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself
5.Finish one thing to move on to another!! Committed!!
6.Breath better, inhale love, exhale gratitude
7.Compassion, love and smile to others… Be generous to other people and give more! 8. Love myself enough to not be bundled with sadness, anger, disappointment, etx
Life Watch movie and read books more!! 1 book a month! Write at least once a week/ a month…About anything, life, love, struggle, sadness, disappointment Be an inspiration to others! Going to Andalusia, Portugal, Hungary, UK, Indo?? Learn to dive dive!! Sulawesi tenggara (buton) Ride a horse Beli UKULELE Make a single cover
Career Do some voluntarily work in NGO!!!!!!! Not going back to Indonesia for good!! – other words, get a job! Achieve certification before April Learn excel and expert in operating it before February Making a proper business proposal and eventually business plan for 2016
Body and Soul One day at least 5 pages of Alquran Khatam Alquran before March Meditation once a day Planking, sun salutation, and sit up a day Making a nice video to remark the milestone with the loved one about constant reminder, encouragement and inspiration on how to live life… Should be delivered before Valentine’s day! Crocheting beanie untuk bhara dan adeknya Aqila Puasa sunnah more!
I am 22… And this year on August, I will turn 23.
Gosh! How time flies… Back in the New year’s Eve, bunch of friends and I were spending the night at good friends of ours. There was a rare thing happened to me. When my friends and all the people (including all of them on RTL news channel on TV) started counting down, suddenly it felt like a flash of a camera, I could not hear their loud voices anymore. I was feeling lonely…. though I am certainly not. I went flashback to all the past events, to everything I HAVEN’T DONE last year and I felt numb. It is just like yesterday I flew for the first time to the Netherlands, started going to classes and meeting new people. It seems like yesterday I enjoyed the very same moment with friends; NYE. It seems like yesterday I graduated…
Hold on!!!! Why in english??? let’s switchhhh…
Test test… intermezzo sedikit.
Salah satu kendala hidup saya di muka bumi ini adalah bahasa. Gak bakat kayanya jadi polyglot… Kemampuan saya dalam menangkap verbal bahasa memang minim. Saya orang indonesia yang tidak beresidensial di Indonesia, sehari-hari berkomunikasi dengan bahasa inggris, tetapi selalu mendengar percakapan orang-orang di sekitar saya yang berbahasa Belanda. Nah loh?! Berarti jago dong ketiga bahasa itu? Yak, kesimpulan yang kurang tepat! HAHAHA Malah kemampuan saya berbahasa ibu (Indonesia) menurun drastis, kemampuan bahasa inggris meningkat, tapi tidak bisa mencapai tingkat native, kemampuan dutch 0.5 dari 10. Alhasil, saya selalu tanpa sengaja mencampur-campur bahasa dan suka bingung sendiri sama apa yang saya mau bilang. Jadi, excuse in advance…hehe Anyway, melanjutkan prolog di atas….
Saat itu saya mengucap syukur dalam hati, tapi saya belum cukup merasa konten.. Karena terlalu banyak hal-hal yang masih belum saya capai di umur saya ini. Bisa dibilang saya melalu metamorfosa yang cukup signifikan dari tahun ke tahun. Dan yang paling terlihat adalah saat saya ada di akhir tahun 2012 hingga tahun 2013, it was magical experiences.. 2012 akhir saya banyak berkontemplasi, merenung dan retrospeksi atas diri saya selama ini. Panjang perjalanannya yang akhirnya membawa saya ke THE BRIGHTER 2013. Saya memulai awal tahun 2013 dengan cukup remarkable 😛 Saya bertiga dengan sahabat-sahabat saya berpartisipasi dalam acara tahunan Belanda, New Year’s Dive in Scheveningen. Bisa bayangkan temperatur minus pada saat itu dan harus berbaju renang berlari-larian di pantai. Hahahaha orang bilang kita gila. Tapi saya hanya ingin memulai tahun itu dengan keberanian, berharap saya jadi orang yang tidak takut dalam menghadapi keadaan apapun dan tidak takut untuk bermimpi besar. Saya membuat resolusi bersama teman saya yang saya kenal dekat pada pertengahan 2012, Wulan namanya. We call each other soul sisters :p Alhamdulillah, banyak dari resolusi simpel saya tercapai, tapi ada juga yang tidak…. Tandanya, saya harus lebih berani dalam bermimpi, lebih gila, lebih S.M.A.R.T istilahnya.
1 January 2014, 00.00.
Saya merasa sangat sepi… The perfect form of solitude in the crowd. Saya somewhat memiliki ketakutan tersendiri.. Saya masih belum mendapat secure monthly income, belum bisa membanggakan kedua orang tua. Saya tidak ingin membuang-buang waktu di umur saya ini. Masih banyak mimpi-mimpi yang ingin direalisasikan. Saya ingin seproduktif dan seefektif mungkin dalam menggunakan waktu saya yang tidak pernah diketahui akan berapa lama, tapi apakah iya kita bisa melukis garis tangan?
Ahhh pusing rasanya kalau mendaftar deretan panjang hal yang belum saya lakukan. Tapi on the other hand, saya merasa teramat sangat beruntung. Karena, saya mempunyai kesempatan yang tidak semua orang bisa rasakan, hidup di luar negeri, menjadi pribadi yang mandiri, dan dapat melihat dunia dari kacamata yang berbeda. Saya juga bersyukur bisa tumbuh di abad 20 sekarang ini dimana pembelajaran dapat dilakukan dimana saja kapan saja oleh device apa saja.
Di saat teman-teman sudah mulai bimbang tentang pilihan menikah, sudah ada yang mempersiapkan perkawinan dan wedding dress, saya masih leyeh-leyeh memikirkan besok mau makan apa, mau kemana tujuan liburan selanjutnya, gimana mengumpulkan uang, gimana caranya kalau mau volunteer. Masih ingin travelling dan melihat dunia… Bagi saya menikah adalah sangat esensial, terutama melihat beberapa orang di lingkungan saya yang berpisah, saya tidak ingin seperti mereka. Harus ada bahan untuk saya mengevaluasi diri saya sebagai pasangan yang baik nantinya. Once we get married, we married for life. Saya nggak mau menikah hanya karena umur yang cukup, tapi menikah karena saya yakin kami dapat saling membahagiakan dan menghargai selamanya.
Usia 20an…. usia paling kritis dalam pembenahan dan membangun diri. Saatnya memiliki ideologi diri untuk mempersiapkan hal-hal dalam hidup yang akan kita pilih nantinya. Waktunya untuk keluar dari comfort zone (yang mungkin sebenarnya juga gak comfort-comfort amat). Karena setelah itu, akan ada komitmen2 yang harus dipenuhi, tuntutan untuk berkeluarga dan komitmen yang harus dibina setelahnya. Saya ingin jika saya harus berkomitmen, saya akan benar to the fullest 🙂 Si ‘sahabat’ untungnya tidak tinggal berdekatan dengan saya (bahasa gaulnya, LDR), sehingga kami bisa memiliki 2 dunia yang berbeda, bisa tetap punya hidup masing-masing. Sama-sama mengerti bahwa at the end of the day, we have each other. Tidak ada tanggungan untuk keluar ke cafe/mall, pergi nonton, yang pada akhirnya menuntut kami untuk menjadi ‘attach’. Jika sudah ada keharusan untuk bertemu setiap hari, untuk saya personally akan susah untuk mengembangkan diri *pengalaman pribadi* hehe bukan berarti semua orang akan begitu, tapi saya tahu saya tidak mampu. And again, I think it is the perfect age to struggle.. those things are few of them. Nothing worth having comes easy.
Pengen banget nabungggg, jadi saat saya kembali ke tanah kelahiran, saya sudah bisa memberi kembali ke orang-orang yang berjasa di kehidupan saya (keluarga, terutama orang tua).
Pengen ambil studi master somewhere, pengen volunteer, bikin bisnis sendiri, bikin foundation kecil atau sekolah atau activity for goodwills. Aamiinnn…..
Pada akhirnya yang dicari adalah kebahagiaan.. dan yang paling mengerti dimana kebahagiaan itu adalah diri kita sendiri. Terkadang being obsessive pada diri sendiri memang penting, pun optimis. Tapi yang paling penting adalah alasan dibalik itu semua, kata Wulan, good whys will lead you to good ways.. Kalau alesan saya sih, ingin membuat diri saya happy dan nggak mati percuma hehehehe saya ingin sekali bermanfaat tidak hanya bagi saya dan keluarga, tapi juga orang-orang disekililing. Mudah-mudah bisa tercapai..
Kata Einsten dan bapak saya dream+believe=magic.. kata saya, dream+believe+usaha=happiness 🙂 and most importantly, stop complaining… Whatever negative things you’ve ever thought, you put a seed on it to be happening. Nooooooooo…..
Let’s pursue our happiness kaya judul film-nya Bang Will Smith, Pursuit of Happiness…
A little journey throughout the year:
up-left: Piazza de Espagna, Rome-Italy
up-right: Color Run, Zwolle-NL
below-left: Jewish Statues, Berlin-Germany
below-right: Colloseum, Rome-Italy
CANT WAIT TO TRAVEL SOME MORE THIS YEAR (and conquer my 20s)!
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